We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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