Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
