Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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