You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize