the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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