Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
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