Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize