Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize
