What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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