Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'd cum for enchiladas.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
