"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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