what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
