I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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