So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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