I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize