new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
