I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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