I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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