so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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