belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
