And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize