I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
even my farts smell like vagina
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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