I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize