Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
