i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
soo... how was my night?
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