Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize
