I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
