You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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