i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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