Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Randomize
