I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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