Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
