hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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