I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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