I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
