I got chris browned last night
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
