Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize