Whod you bang
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
