You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
