its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I need to align my fucking chakras
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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