i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
