I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
