Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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