Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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