With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize