Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
