My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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