She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
