K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She bit a glass in half.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
