How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
pop tarts are not kleenex
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
