My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
