I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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