I wish I only lived at night.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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