It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
