im so drunk with asians
where?
always
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
