Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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